Have you ever been in a situation where you anticipated a certain outcome or reaction from an individual and experienced quite another? If you were pleasantly surprised, perhaps you smiled then shrugged and never gave it another thought. If you were disappointed, perhaps you furrowed your brow, then puffed up, then stewed over the terrible personal injustice you just suffered for months.
Let’s assume that you had (somewhat) carefully analyzed the situation before reaching your expected outcome. All things being equal, you missed something. Conspiracy theorists run-wild, there is still a factor which was misjudged or missed entirely. The question is rarely apparent, and occasionally not even fully known by the second party. However, the starting point for analysis must be inward.
What was it about your approach to the situation that set the stage for the response you received? Was it your tone, posture or attire? Was it the words you chose? Did your biases influence your evaluation of the known factors in analyzing their position (rather, did you undervalue or dismiss factors important to the second party due to your own position). In careful analysis or post analysis it is critical that not only do you consider all factors possible, but that you unburden your evaluation of your own perspective to reach an accurate assessment of their position.
Finally, when things don’t go your way and you may never know why, don’t take it personal. If Michael Jordan fabricated imagined grudges against opponents to summon deep seeded vendetta driven motivation, than you can do the opposite. This person doesn’t hate me; they actually are just having a rough time at home. Or this person doesn’t hate me; they just have a sore back today and are grump as hell.
These may not be true, but if you will never know the origins and have completed your unbiased analysis, rather than letting your conspiracy-theory-devil-inside run amuck with your self-confidence, imagine an external influence beyond your control ( a hypothetical scapegoat ) and move on. Some days just aren’t your days.